How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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