I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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