She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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