I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
