Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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