How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
