All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
