they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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