do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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