Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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