We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
