My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
