I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
