Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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