Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
