Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
