i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
