You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
