People in love make me want to vomit
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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