So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
