you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
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I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
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I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.