Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I can't believe you blew on her face.

  (1-662): View more from Mississippi

  I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.

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  (662): I can't believe you blew on her face. (1-662): I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes. http://tfl.nu/gk09
  Replies (78) Good night (2524) Bad night (1693)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car

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  (970): so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car http://tfl.nu/skxr
  Replies (22) Good night (7155) Bad night (752)
• Favorite

  (555): View more from

  My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique

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  (555): My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique http://tfl.nu/mm4o
  Replies (17) Good night (4464) Bad night (1442)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you

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  (248): Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you http://tfl.nu/8prb
  Replies (7) Good night (1149) Bad night (2750)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.

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  (432): I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame. http://tfl.nu/e3aq
  Replies (13) Good night (610) Bad night (3361)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?

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  (918): I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her? http://tfl.nu/6frm
  Replies (35) Good night (1219) Bad night (3218)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I will give you all my nachos to make this happen

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  (480): I will give you all my nachos to make this happen http://tfl.nu/ghnu
  Replies (4) Good night (1162) Bad night (488)
• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.

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  (435): Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday. http://tfl.nu/eusa
  Replies (4) Good night (912) Bad night (422)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project

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  (207): I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project http://tfl.nu/3ddm
  Replies (1) Good night (1132) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.

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  (617): my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me. http://tfl.nu/yb33
  Replies (6) Good night (678) Bad night (1597)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man

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  (612): buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man http://tfl.nu/4qce
  Replies (4) Good night (392) Bad night (713)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Whats your number? 5 or more?

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.

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  (512): Whats your number? 5 or more? (973): Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish. http://tfl.nu/b76i
  Replies (1) Good night (535) Bad night (678)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON

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  (971): you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON http://tfl.nu/6e6p
  Replies (8) Good night (2259) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved

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  (214): dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved http://tfl.nu/kl2o
  Replies (1) Good night (328) Bad night (221)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"

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  (570): I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty" http://tfl.nu/vh2z
  Replies (1) Good night (230) Bad night (703)

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