Texts From Last Night

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  (757): View more from Virginia

  then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!

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  (757): then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?! http://tfl.nu/fmkj
  Replies (2) Good night (791) Bad night (1279)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?

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  (570): Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning? http://tfl.nu/o1k1
  Replies (39) Good night (4114) Bad night (1795)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.

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  (224): Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night. http://tfl.nu/rq15
  Replies (9) Good night (3663) Bad night (1551)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day

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  (913): I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day http://tfl.nu/fmap
  Replies (35) Good night (5028) Bad night (1741)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.

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  (210): it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it. http://tfl.nu/7f8c
  Replies (27) Good night (4523) Bad night (902)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..

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  (734): Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night.. http://tfl.nu/1tnp
  Replies (6) Good night (2852) Bad night (947)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off

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  (320): there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off http://tfl.nu/58y7
  Replies (13) Good night (2870) Bad night (1078)
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  (819): View more from Quebec

  I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.

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  (819): I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me. http://tfl.nu/9k8k
  Replies (4) Good night (1249) Bad night (2297)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.

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  (786): you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat. http://tfl.nu/8z2x
  Replies (14) Good night (1272) Bad night (2205)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.

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  (970): You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan. http://tfl.nu/do61
  Replies (14) Good night (2000) Bad night (565)
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  (925): View more from California

  We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts

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  (925): We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts http://tfl.nu/eq30
  Replies (7) Good night (1751) Bad night (503)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  $200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.

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  (724): $200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm. http://tfl.nu/59s4
  Replies (9) Good night (1739) Bad night (513)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality

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  (+44): I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality http://tfl.nu/sxru
  Replies (8) Good night (982) Bad night (410)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry

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  (+61): Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry http://tfl.nu/2c34
  Replies (6) Good night (416) Bad night (739)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here

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  (306): had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious (1-306): that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here http://tfl.nu/w93t
  Replies (1) Good night (682) Bad night (306)

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