Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
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All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
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Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?