Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?

(770): View more from Georgia

b/c u have herpes

(310): View more from California

No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.

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(310): Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss? (770): b/c u have herpes (310): No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole. http://tfl.nu/unxh

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(804): View more from Virginia

i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore

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(804): i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore http://tfl.nu/d307

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(586): View more from Michigan

yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.

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(586): yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster. http://tfl.nu/tawm

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(678): View more from Georgia

Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids

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(678): Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids http://tfl.nu/tr3o

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(248): View more from Michigan

she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.

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(248): she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing. http://tfl.nu/gzcy

Replies (26) Good night (13496) Bad night (994)
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(845): View more from New York

no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill

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(845): no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill http://tfl.nu/ddir

Replies (4) Good night (1284) Bad night (4501) Order T-Shirt
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(901): View more from Tennessee

Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!

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(901): Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train! http://tfl.nu/ural

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(253): View more from Washington

In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.

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(253): In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me. http://tfl.nu/mf2b

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.

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(603): Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes. http://tfl.nu/rqjn

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(301): View more from Maryland

I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.

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(301): I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation. http://tfl.nu/sh4c

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.

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(603): He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing. http://tfl.nu/abhc

Replies (3) Good night (559) Bad night (1351)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

did i really sing to your nipples last night?

(731): View more from Tennessee

yes. and it was oddly very seductive

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(931): did i really sing to your nipples last night? (731): yes. and it was oddly very seductive http://tfl.nu/t5a8

Replies (2) Good night (1320) Bad night (392)
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(757): View more from Virginia

you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.

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(757): you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR. http://tfl.nu/zp8x

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(319): View more from Iowa

"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.

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(319): "Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits. http://tfl.nu/w2vw

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message

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(203): I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message http://tfl.nu/s744

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