Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(334): View more from Alabama

I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.

(205): View more from Alabama

Win!

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(334): I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender. (205): Win! http://tfl.nu/0n6n

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(563): View more from Iowa

even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair

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(563): even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair http://tfl.nu/e78g

Replies (82) Good night (4418) Bad night (1093)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.

(607): View more from New York

Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.

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(203): Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone. (607): Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend. http://tfl.nu/z2i9

Replies (7) Good night (5963) Bad night (1151)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever

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(570): Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever http://tfl.nu/sgij

Replies (86) Good night (3385) Bad night (15545)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are

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(717): we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are http://tfl.nu/vwno

Replies (22) Good night (7371) Bad night (1239)
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(419): View more from Ohio

had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.

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(419): had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me. http://tfl.nu/ffp2

Replies (4) Good night (1060) Bad night (2478)
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(559): View more from California

there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.

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(559): there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap. http://tfl.nu/jpym

Replies (11) Good night (2665) Bad night (1007)
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(217): View more from Illinois

I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy

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(217): I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy http://tfl.nu/0wt3

Replies (5) Good night (1682) Bad night (691)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.

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(218): My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick. http://tfl.nu/r953

Replies (11) Good night (1750) Bad night (750)
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(509): View more from Washington

While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.

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(509): While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop. http://tfl.nu/o4cj

Replies (4) Good night (1326) Bad night (465)
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(775): View more from Nevada

For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet

(775): View more from Nevada

Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now

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(775): For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet (775): Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now http://tfl.nu/ra39

Replies (3) Good night (1269) Bad night (511)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours

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(508): Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours http://tfl.nu/2ezn

Replies (6) Good night (1186) Bad night (413)
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(256): View more from Alabama

That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.

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(256): That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was. http://tfl.nu/kyou

Replies (1) Good night (765) Bad night (598)
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(770): View more from Georgia

The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex

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(770): The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex http://tfl.nu/wiih

Replies (7) Good night (910) Bad night (387)
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(207): View more from Maine

Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.

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(207): Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've. http://tfl.nu/s8ox

Replies (0) Good night (647) Bad night (369)

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