if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?