Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.