Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy