batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
