I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
