You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize