Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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