So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Princesses don't give blow jobs
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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