dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
