I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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