My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
