I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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