wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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