i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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