Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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