Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
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There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
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But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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