I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
