Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
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My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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