Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
