hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize