her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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