This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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