I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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