i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Alive.
So much puke
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize