I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
