This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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