were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
