My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
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Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
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I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
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