"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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