he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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