I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize