someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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