apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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