Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
