Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
