Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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