All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
