don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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