oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
