yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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