That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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