she was so not down for the gang bang
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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