eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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