I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize